Find Love In The Busy City With Dr. Pam Spurr

Valentines day is right around the corner but if you’ve not found your perfect Valentine yet, don’t despair, we caught up with dating and relationship specialist, Dr. Pam Spurr to get her advice on finding love in the busy city, it’s not always easy to set aside the time to find love in the city but with Dr. Pam’s guidance you’ll be sure to be a dating pro in no time, we are ready to put her advice straight into practice!

How To Find Love in the Busy City

Dating and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr

When interviewing singles for my recent dating guide, those who lived in the city were finding it hard to meet someone. Everyone just seems so busy, head-down, rushing somewhere.

It makes it tough looking for love, so many singles end up trying dating apps/sites. Sadly these can be disappointing when you discover lots using them just want hook-ups.

It’s also tricky knowing what to believe with 80% of people fibbing on dating apps and sites. They make themselves taller, leaner, wealthier, and post 5-year-old photos – so how can you find someone genuine?

Try These Key Steps:

  • Go with your gut – First and foremost don’t ignore your intuition. If after one meet-up, three dates, three weeks, something tells you he’s not what he seems, believe it! Don’t waste time on guys who waste your time. Stop accepting excuses for why he didn’t show up, was late, or didn’t ring. Learn to move on.
  • Be ready for spontaneous opportunities – It’s important to be ready when, e.g., the attractive guy in the lift at work smiles at you. 60% of women told me they’d missed random opportunities by freezing up. So pretend every opportunity’s a chance to find love. Smile and make a simple comment like: it’s crazy at work today, how’s it with you? If he’s interested he’ll make conversation back.
  • Widen your circle of opportunity – If you keep going to the same places but don’t see new faces, try somewhere else. That widens your chances of meeting someone. Try that new cafe near work, pub, club, anywhere that takes you where there’s new hunting ground.
  • Your body language is crucial – Your body language reveals what you’re thinking. If you walk around thinking: I’m not attractive, no one will be interested, etc. – surprise, surprise they won’t be! Such thoughts crush your body language, it becomes defensive. Stride out each day focusing on your two best qualities – your body language automatically becomes more confident. Confidence is one of the top three traits rated highly attractive.
  • Get on a dating app/ site or two – Despite people telling little fibs, online is a must-try for busy singles. Avoid two critical errors: 1/ Don’t join loads of sites/apps – you waste valuable time scanning between them. 2/ Avoid the grass is greener syndrome where you spot a nice profile but think: the next guy might be better. If he’s got three qualities you value, stop there and swipe/message him. Once you choose someone to meet, remember to downsize his profile a bit – he’ll probably be slightly shorter, heavier and older!
  • It’s in your control – Over 2/3s of women I interviewed believed dating success was out of their control. They held beliefs like: it’s the guy who ‘chooses’ a woman, men still have to make the first move, etc. No! Even if you don’t want to do the asking out, it’s in your control to give strong signals of interest so he asks. You can set the pace. Devise a mantra where you remind yourself you control your love destiny.
  • Dress for success – When going out where you might meet a Mr Potential, or on a date, wear what you feel confident in. For instance, if you struggle wearing the sky-high heels that have been on trend the last couple years, you’ll look uncomfortable. Don’t wear them!
  • Don’t buy into singles myths about Valentine’s – I’ve MC’ed dating events around Valentine’s and they’re not all full of saddos. Most have fun, they meet like-minded singles who are prepared to take a chance even on the day many think of as the cheesiest of the year.

Dr Pam’s on Twitter @drpamspurr and www.drpam.co.uk